An ongoing food series, started in 2011. Mentioned on Eater, Slate, and the New York Times
I interviewed Documentary Arts MfA student Elyse Bouvier about visiting Chinese-Western restaurants in Alberta.
Fish-based joke battle
Random food happenings from Powerball- the video I SHOULD have made involves bringing takeout containers and smuggling out pieces of octopus.
Impromptu Food Bomb- I can’t even go into a barbecue place without getting offered piles of duck heads!
Listen to the video- I say I’m a video artist I guess I mean it. The story of the pizza pole is longer than be contained in this video so I might need to revisit it. I have been in my post pizza pole period for over two summers it is my greatest triumph and failure,and its lessons continue to reverberate in my mind.
Susur’s Special Sauce Secrets!
I talked with Chef Susur Lee and tried to get him to reveal some secrets. He didn’t really give up any secrets, but it was a great discussion and herb oils are definitely a really useful thing to have in the kitchen. 2015 I WILL USE MORE HERB OIL.
There’s more potential to lamb heads. More aggressive Middle-Eastern flavours for the next one.
Pasta and past.
Containing the most embarrassing footage of me that exists.
Wish I could have filmed my (inflatable) kayak journey over to the island and back, but I was trying not to die.
aka Leviathan 2. An abridged version of this video was shown live, with musical and joke accompaniment as part of DOORED 14 dooredtv.tumblr.com
Doored Dinner! The annual dinner for members of the performance art comedy collective Doored! Jiva MacKay did the cooking.
For more information about Doored including video streams of all previous shows, go to dooredtv.tumblr.com
I was invited to a genitals-themed dinner party.
Cooking for Henri Faberge’s OPPORTUNITY CAFE pop-up event. THE PIG HEAD RETURNS.
I’ve never watched a complete episode of Paula Deen’s television program- from what I remember, it had more ‘personality’ than her utterly generic magazine.
Pizza happened to me.
First viral video.
ELVIS MITCHELL rocks a callback and de-spazzes Tarantino. QUENTIN TARANTINO IF YOU ARE READING THIS I THINK YOU WOULD LOVE MY STREET STYLE VIDEOS.
CHRIS HERON aka THE CONTEXTUALIZER. In 2 years he will interview Gaspar Noe, who gives him the nickname CHRIS HEROIN. May have made out with Mia Waisikowski.
REMY’S RATATOUILLE Thomas Keller you are a great chef. I wish my ingredients were as good as yours.
I was starting to look for a Leni Riefenstahl food clip to use at the end but then I was like NUH-UH LENI FUCK YOUR POWERFUL CINEMATIC LEGACY. AND FUCK ROMAN POLANSKI THAT GUY IS A RAPIST. Had to watch one of his student films, and it did have food in it. I AM EMANCIPATING THE FILM ROSEMARY’S BABY FROM YOU, ROMAN POLANSKI.
Also ORSON WELLES STANLEY KUBRICK VERA CHYTILOVA LOUIS C.K. APICHATPONG WEERASETHAKUL BUNUEL CHAN-WOOK PARK WIM WENDERS PINA BAUSCH WONG KAR-WAI JAFAR PANAHI TAKASHI MIIKE MAYA DEREN- respect.
I initially objected to use of the term ‘champagne nazi’, but you know who stole a lot of champagne? Nazis, that’s who.
AND BACK. I’m still stuck somewhere between drunk and didactic.
MINI CUSTARD TART ICE CREAM GET ON THAT YOU ICE CREAM FLAVOR ROMARSH BASTARDS. ALL CUSTARDY DESSERTS ARE THE SWEET DEATH KISS OF SATAN. THAT BEING SAID THE PORTUGESE CUSTARD START IS LIKE MAKING LOVE TO A SOPHIA LOREN-ESQUE SATAN.
Also, I know that Sophia Loren is Italian and not Portugese- it’s not about nationality, it’s about WHO MAKES A SEXY DEVIL.
FILM FOOD BOMB- almost changed episode 3 to be movie themed but this video needs immediate freedom.
Getting seriously not serious about CINEMA- perhaps I will create ‘the clock’ of food films. I can already get from Young Mr. Lincoln to W. to MIB3…
Kids these days seem pretty together with their lemonade setups. I forgot to ask that one kid how he made the lemonade pink…could concentrate have been used?
I wish 24 was more like tapas 24. Tapas make sense in 24 because they can be eaten quickly.
THIS IS A FUCKING OUTRAGE.
It was December 31- That should explain the shoddy camerawork.
Daniel Goodbaum is the fake Goodbaum. Mike Goodbaum is the real Goodbaum.
If oversized lucky charms existed, this video wouldn’t.
They are missing the potential of all the shrimp heads. I will never not drink a head-size mug of beer when I go to Guu.
Watermelon summer trilogy conclusion.
Not that I’m advocating, but when I see a restaurant labelled as ‘Asian’ or ‘Pan-Asian’ I don’t know what they’re trying to pull.
Part 3 of the chalkboard sign trilogy of the summer. That minty iced tea sounds great.
Eat two bowls of abrasive breakfast cereal, some mini sour key candies, and then drink this.
I’m not I’m not I’m not I’m not except for when I am.
R for Ramendetta would be a great 2002 playstation game.
The frozen street foods of my imagination are delicious.
I could do this for 20 minutes. But I can’t.
The blow torch is the mobility answer to the food people’s cart scenario.
Disappointing lack of foodnames. Best to stick to Jewish cemeteries.
This is the first episode. Please give me a job or an art school.
Brined, smoked, sous-vide, roasted. Belly tied to shoulder.
Very close to super ultimate.
How I want everything to be.
This year will be my Jay-Z year.
No one man should have all that flour.
Young Mr. Goodbaum. The air is thick with ideology.
A best video of bests can’t always best the worst bestworst.
Typo on the last intertitle- I apologize, but I can’t be bothered to re-render.
I wanna clone a dinosaur and then eat it. Probably something with a nice meaty tail.
Just about the best afternoon.
Basic dynamics aren’t even established yet.
I woke up this morning sucking a lemon meringue pie lollipop.
A personalized kitchen utensil makes for more awesome cooking. Pizza is undoubtedly the ruler of all foods, and beloved by the people, and thus the wooden pizza peel is an ideal surface to commemorate the best off all television programmes.
A little video pick me up, a virtual dose of vitamin D.
Maybe it’s just time for me to copy everything that this site does. Because I love it and it’s French. Look to the site- Griottes for future videos, as it looks like they are doing some really amazing work.
The best pork dish I have ever made. So happy to be eating I couldn’t be bothered to film properly.
Something stupid can hopefully turn into something better. Have you ever seen a turkey close up?
Brine and wine and whine.
Filming leads to immoral or amoral behaviours.
Videos are less fun when the cooking takes so long.
Wondering whether I should bother to tap into such a rich vein.
You can’t dilly-dally with produce.
Not quite, but almost.
Perhaps a deep artistic statement could be made through cake photo selection and flavoring. This is a subject worthy of further investigation.
The Back Alley BBQ & Grill in Kensington Market is really great and completely overlooked. Crazy technique/style combinations are at play- Chinese/Italian and Woodfire/Sous-vide. All meat and other things are cooked sous-vide and finished in the wood-fired oven. They have these Sao Bing sandwiches which are awesome- mine was assorted smoked meats. I also got a pizza of chicken, blue cheese, and homemade xo sauce. It was totally wicked.
An epic moment in the history of keeping it inside the hardcore zone.
Offal without a charcoal grill is kind of awful.
Would be better with 4 times more puns.
Ice Cream Manifesto Summer 2010.
I’m not gimmicky, I’m just lazy and relatively non-prolific.
Tam-Tam cameo through the shop window.
I always pick the worst times to get my kosher goods.
Home pho is the best pho sure.
A pony is not a seahorse!
I could eat this once a day for 50 days before I needed a break.
Show us a little love, the Food Network.
Love every part of yourself.
It never stops and never stops escalating.
Farmer’s market saturdays are a must. This was a tuesday.
a heart. a heart.
Geordi probably ordered the wrong thing.
I’ve always thought har gow was the ballsiest of all foods.
It was a very good lunch.
If only we got this on TV. Dietary differences aside, the fact that one of the regular comic panelists rocks a Hitler moustache without anyone mentioning it is very puzzling. In a way, this program builds off of the hunger supposedly endured by anyone who goes to an Iron Chef taping and makes it an essential part of the competition. It’s a culinary coup d’état, and if you don’t vote for the winner, you don’t get to eat anything! In Iron Chef, the extreme quality and expense of the ingredients is sometimes gleefully mentioned in passing, as if it isn’t that big of a deal that these are rare hermaphrodite albino salmon. In Cooking Show Dotch, each ingredient is given a huge amount of reverence, to the point where it now frustrates me that I can’t find a store that sells hishio, or sake kasu. It’s well possible to translate this concept to the U.S.- fancy burger vs fancy taco- unless it would seem tasteless in these times to have a game show built on the idea of food waste. The one thing that Cooking Show Dotch is somewhat thankfully missing is the final shot of the losing chef’s dish being thrown into the garbage.
Pretty soon I’ll just have to do some normal cooking.
This slice is of the past. Time travel eating. Lots more honey to follow.
The chocolate line came out of nowhere.
It is not being a carnivore. Even a meat eater who fetishistically relishes that an animal was killed is getting something edible out of the situation. I don’t think these men are interested in field-dressing these animals and later eating them.
Anime: it’s not just for Japanese food anymore.
I guess the Canadian equivalent would be the show Godiva’s, which I remember having very little actual food and a lot more topless nudities. Ooh, this is a yaoi!
It’s not popcorn, it’s POOPcorn…
Is it unhealthy that my early education of Japanese cuisine was largely informed by anime and manga? But that’s how young kids these days learn about things like takoyaki and okonomiyaki and onigiri.
BY THE FOOT…BY THE SHEET.
When I first read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe , I had no idea what turkish delight was. I imagined it along the lines of higher quality, more textured and abundant fruit roll-ups. If I ever have the chance to remake society, I will revive Turkish delight along these new lines. Speaking of which- does turkish delight roast well on a stick over a fire? Let me check…
Apparently not, and judging from a video with a bunch of wankers roasting a turkish delight with nail varnish remover, it is certain to melt.
Why can’t we have full-sized mini oreos? Or maybe a giant buttertart!
I need to do an expose on the existence of ‘Blue Raspberry’ as a flavor instead of just ‘Blue’.
They can’t get it right because they are too busy trying to distract us.
Animated dried fruits are due for a comeback.
I have duck tongues in my freezer, but I promise I won’t make them for a while. This is enough tongue for 2009.
Expect the sloppy joe loose factor to tighten up soon.
Is it safe to call this the best ‘friends cooking’ music video ever?
A runner-up from the latest contest by the Criterion Collection. I don’t think this meatless loaf looks any good (1/2 a cup of dried parsley?) but the video highlights something that I’ve been wondering about regarding the use of sound in cooking shows. Isn’t it easier to just show people something then to tell them about it?
Attempt to articulate the surface of the canvas. Spot the Godard shot!
Don’t think I just did this for fun- this will be continued, but I couldn’t silently let this image haunt my dreams instead of sharing it with you.
The First of Many-
“White Ammunition” does not hold up well as a title.
Why is it that large department stores don’t have milk bars anymore? That sounds fun.
A major defeat in my personal boycott against tuna, except when in a special tasting menu/dinner party type situation. Politiness-wise…if it’s already cooked, I would even have a bite of whaleloaf, if it was your grandma’s own recipe. But when I asked to substitute mackerel (“the sushi we should all be eating”) for tuna (“for culinary deviant immoral pederasts”) they done tossed a three dollar substitution right down, even though they’re the same price on the menu. They played hardball and did not care about my phony allergy claim, and I caved soon after.
Clearly I recognize we all need to be boycotting the bluefin tuna, lest our children and children’s children never know the joys of delicious tuna sashimi. Our children’s children’s children will be able to constitute tuna from dna and microscopic robots though, and I’m not particularly close to or sympathetic of their crazy future generation. Perhaps my mistake was just giving up tuna abruptly. I have to boycott tuna by giving it a delicious sendoff, like a Barbara Streisand final concert special in Las Vegas, but in my belly.
So so good.
These pork rinds are really enjoyable, quite delicious. The plan is to try crisping some up in the oven, but I also have a high level of appreciation for cold creamy pork fat and meat/skin so it doesn’t really matter. Compared to the normally acceptable snacking foods, the pork rind has distinct benefits. While a potato chip or dorito or crisper or pretzel can lead to a somewhat indefinite period of distracted snacking leading to an insane amount of essentially deathfood being eaten, if I eat too many pork rinds it becomes difficult to eat more: because of a combination of super fatty greasy slippery fingers, and a distinct sense that my heart is crying…both in terms of long-term blood pumping, and of the poetic beautiful yearning and that. The overall greatness and simplicity of the pork rind commands a certain amount of attention and respect.
The best pork rinds are most likely in the South, and U.S. States with distinct and favored recipes or (pray for this) packaged pork rinds that can be sent over to me here in Toronto should really do so. There’s a pork rind craze that is going to hit hard around these parts. If I had a bar I would make them and serve them with beer.
Important article on how cooking shows have betrayed us. More of a call to action than a hopeless account- for that you’d have to read about someone going to a taping of Iron Chef America (I’d still watch an episode if they used special ingredient…monkey). These issues remain paramount to anyone hoping to represent food and cooking, and thus keeping it real is the way to go. The honest approach will be characterized in a variety of ways.
The video portion of the show will not be up for a while. It’s never too early to start sticking other videos in here.
Popcorn will be popped in the atmosphere after being launched out of a satellite using (obviously) a laser guidance system. It will fire accurately into a chimney and deposit itself on the kitchen counter in a bowl. The lucky few will have individual kernels launched into their mouth just by thinking about it and opening their mouths widely, provided they are outside and humidity is relatively low.
rabbit pocky all kinds of dried mango honeycake salmonheads pigheads soba mochi hotsmoked mackerel carnitas ratatouille from the movie ratatouille italian meringue oxtail goat butter fava beans.